In these instances, the best thing you can do is to focus on your behavior and remain faithful to your commitment to live an honest, sober life. We believe everyone deserves access to accurate, unbiased information about mental health and addiction. That’s why we have a comprehensive set of treatment providers and don’t charge for inclusion. We do not and have never accepted fees for referring someone to a particular center. Providers who advertise with us must be verified by our Research Team and we clearly mark their status as advertisers. You may have a list of people you want to make amends to personally.

Moving from Amends to Forgiveness

Making Amends with Others has positioned itself in the public eye to a degree that many of the other eleven steps haven’t. That’s because it attempts to rectify the outward consequences of the disease. Many alcoholics in early sobriety struggle with how to make direct what is a living amends amends for certain offenses against others. To help, we’ve compiled a list of examples of making amends in recovery that deal with ambiguous scenarios. Your AA sponsor, therapist, or another trusted person can help you determine how best to address making amends.

Recovery Advocacy

Working Step 9 is challenging and you’ll likely need support and assistance as you work through it. At Eudaimonia Recovery Homes, we provide personalized recovery support with comfortable sober living https://ecosoberhouse.com/ Austin, Houston, and Colorado Springs. Before completing step nine, the recovering alcoholic needs to be ready to deliver their message with the best intentions, not motivated by false expectations.

• We’re telling the world, “Addiction made me behave a certain way. I don’t like it, and it doesn’t reflect the person I want to be in recovery.”
• This may involve attending family therapy or individual therapy.
• In most cases, the victim of the abuse, neglect, or crime will need a much more prolific and profound interaction with you before any attempt at reconciliation can be made.
• Before approaching Step 9, you need to complete the inventory in Step 8.
• Step 9 of AA’s 12-step program directs people in recovery to take accountability for actions that may have harmed others and to make amends when possible.

Your Future Starts at Silvermist

They may find resolution and understanding about the past. Or, they may gain greater insights about addiction and commit to being a more supportive person in your recovery. For example, someone living with an addiction may make amends by apologizing for stealing property and then make it right by returning what they’d taken. Of all the 12 steps, Step 9 is often referred to as particularly challenging. Understanding why will require taking a closer look at what Step 9 is, its goals, and its possible outcomes. We’ll also include a Step 9 amends letter for anyone who wants to implement this step but isn’t sure how to.

• For many, this is one of the most important components of recovery, because it allows them to work on rebuilding their relationships and letting go of those they cannot repair.
• Only make amends when you truly understand the situation and when you feel a sincere call for atonement.
• To help, we’ve compiled a list of examples of making amends in recovery that deal with ambiguous scenarios.
• That’s why we have a comprehensive set of treatment providers and don’t charge for inclusion.
• Work with your sponsor, treatment center, and 12-Step group to determine which parts of this are right for you.

It’s not one we use too frequently in our everyday language, but it still holds significant meaning. To make amends means to apologize for something you have done or for wronging someone in some way. It means mending, or (quite literally) fixing, the relationship. Ninety percent of the time, I keep my mouth shut, but I am my son’s mother. I have a responsibility to parent him and speak out for his best interests.

Navigating Step Nine: Living Amends

• In some cases, you may have to make indirect amends if a relationship proves to be beyond repair or if seeing you again would cause the person further distress.
• An apology is expressing regret or saying sorry for causing harm to someone.
• Soon, you’ll run out of reasons to give your loved ones why you’ve failed them once again.
• An example of this would be repaying a debt or repairing or replacing broken or damaged items.

These steps mean taking ownership of the past, apologizing for wherever you made mistakes and moving forward from those missteps. Deathbed promises are a common way people make living amends. They want to find ways of making up for all their past wrongs, and they don’t want to miss the opportunity to do so once their loved one dies. In these cases, they make promises of cleaning up their act and changing their behaviors to their loved ones just before they die. Living amends refers to making promises to the people in your life whom you’ve wronged or who have hurt you.